Missing You
by StephNexus
Summary: One-shot, song-fic. "Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath. And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away. And I'm wondering why you left..."


**A/N:**  
This is a one-shot for Cena's Baby Doll's birthday, which was on the 12th – sorry it's couple days late, but better late than never! I was playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and I heard this song and fell in love with it. I think it's one of those songs everyone can relate to, so here's my spin on it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from the OC and the storyline. The song, _Missing You_ is by John Waite – nothing beats a bit of 80's soft rock :P.

Read, review and enjoy :)  
Steph, xo.

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**Every time I think of you,  
I always catch my breath.  
And I'm still standing here,  
And you're miles away.  
And I'm wondering why you left,  
And there's a storm that's raging.  
Through my frozen heart tonight...**

I could feel the tears building in my eyes, but I didn't want to cry; I should be out enjoying myself, celebrating my 25th birthday. But instead, I'm stuck in my house, not wanting or caring to go out. In fact, I haven't really been out of this house for what feels like forever. Going out without him just doesn't feel right; nothing without him feels right. As I thought about him, about us, I felt my breath hitch in my throat; he really had a hold on me. He means everything to me; he's not just my boyfriend, he's my best friend, my punching bag when I'm down, my soul mate. He's my everything. I wiped away any trace of tears as I stepped forward towards the window; the sky was becoming full of dark, gloomy clouds, and the sound of thunder rumbled through the busy city. Usually, I would be scared, but tonight, I had no time to be scared; my time will be spent missing the love of my life. I had no idea where he is, where he's heading. Hell, I don't even know why he's gone; I've had no explanation, no text, no phone call. Nothing. I just remember waking up a few days ago with him gone from my side; his bag was packed, and he was nowhere to be seen. The only thing I do know, is that he's most likely miles away; I could hazard a guess that he was visiting his family, but I don't want to contact them; I don't want to seem desperate. Perhaps this is his way of ending things with me? Perhaps he never wants to see me again? Perhaps he's moved on, found someone new?

**I hear your name, in certain circles,  
And it always makes me smile.  
I spend my time, thinking about you,  
And it's almost driving me wild.  
And there's a heart that's breaking,  
Down this long distance line tonight...**

The thought of him makes me smile, I could hear his voice as I reminisce about the day we met over and over again in my mind. What if I never see him again? What if I never meant a thing to him? I fell back against the wall, slowly sliding down it as I thought about him; this wasn't fair. I ran a hand through my hair in exasperation; missing him has physically, emotionally, mentally drained me. The only time I smile, is when I think of him. He's all I think about, ever. A mention of his name, I smile. A glimpse of a photograph, I smile. The sight of his clothes, I smile. Reading through the love letters from him, I smile. The more I think about it, the more I found myself becoming annoyed, frustrated. It didn't make sense. Why was he gone? I thought we were in love, I thought we were both happy with each other. Why couldn't this just be a dream? Why couldn't I just wake up from this nightmare? I want him, I need him to be here with me.

**I ain't missing you at all,  
Since you've been gone, away.  
I ain't missing you,  
No matter, what I might say...**

"I don't miss him...I don't miss him..." I whispered to myself. He doesn't miss me, so why should I miss him? I wonder if he is thinking about me at all, I wonder if he knows how much he has hurt me. No, I don't miss him...I can't miss him...I don't want to miss him.

**There's a message, in the wires,  
And I'm sending you this signal tonight.  
You don't know, how desperate I've become,  
And it looks like I'm losing this fight.  
In your world I have no meaning,  
Though I'm trying hard to understand.  
And it's my heart that's breaking,  
Down this long distance line tonight... **

I pulled out my phone from my pocket in the hope that he had sent me a text, but there was nothing. I tapped my screen to compose a new message:

_Please just let me know where you are..._

Before I finished off the message, I pressed the backspace button to delete it; what was the point in sending it? He wasn't going to reply, he wasn't going to call. If he wanted to speak to me, he would have made contact with me. I've been so desperate to talk to him, but even if he was to answer, I would have no idea what to even say to him. I've tried to stay strong, but I'm a weak person; I let my feelings take over, I let them get the best of me. I wonder if he knows how I feel? I wonder if he knows how desperate I've become to hear his voice, to see his face, to feel his touch?

**I ain't missing you at all,  
Since you've been gone, away.  
I ain't missing you,  
No matter, what my friends say...**

Wait, I don't miss him, I can't miss him. He's been gone for so long, I should just be use to him not being here.

_Kenz, please come out! There's no point in sitting at home, moping over him. He's gone, and you should be out celebrating your birthday! Stop missing him, and don't let him ruin your life, Kenzie – Amber._

I read the text and shook my head; my best friend is right. I shouldn't let him ruin my life; he left me. He left me without a single word, and I'm the one feeling down because of it? He's the one who left me, who chose to end what we had. I don't miss him, and I shouldn't miss him.

**And there's a message that I'm sending out,  
Like a telegraph to your soul.  
And if I can't bridge this distance,  
Stop this heartbreak overload...**

I've tried to convince myself that there was a reason for him disappearing, but it's clear to me that there is no reason at all. I can't do this anymore; I need to come to terms with the fact that we're done, done for good. I wiped the tears from my eyes away and grabbed onto my coat; tonight, I was taking my friends advice – I should be out, celebrating my birthday. I grabbed onto my keys and walked towards the door. As I approached it, my heart froze as I saw the porch light turn on followed by the sound of my doorbell ringing; all my friends were out, who on earth could be that be? I dropped my coat onto the side table and unlocked the door, pulling it open. I felt my heart drop as I saw him standing in front of me, soaked from head-to-toe due to the heavy rain. I found myself struggling to speak as I took him all in; he looked exhausted.

"Hi," I heard him mumble as he scratched his neck. I could tell that he was nervous. Good, so he should be. "Can I come in."

"No."

"Huh, what?"

"I said no," I told him, my expression serious.

"Why not?"

"Where the hell have you been, John? Eh? One minute you were here, and the next you were gone!"

"I, I'm sorry Kenzie."

"Oh, and that makes it all better, does it?" I asked him, my voice cracking. I saw him look towards the ground for a brief moment, before he looked me in the eyes, "of course it doesn't make things better, Kenz. Look, I just needed time out, time away..."

"Why? What have I done that made you leave?"

"It wasn't you, Kenzie," he told me as he stepped forwards. I took a step back, "don't come close to me, okay? You don't realise how much you've destroyed me, John. I can't believe you think it's okay to just come back into my life and act like everything is okay."

"Kenzie..."

"Don't even bother, John. I've finally managed to convince myself that I don't miss you, and I plan to keep it that way," I told him, my voice firm and final. I could see the pain in his eyes, but I felt no sympathy for him. He was the one who left me for days, he's the one who had caused this.

"Kenzie, don't lie to yourself, you miss me, I miss you..." I heard him mumble. I shook my head as I locked my front door and pushed past him, "I can lie to myself, I don't miss you," I told him confidently before I turned on my heel and walked away from him, not looking back once. He shouldn't have bothered coming back, like I told him, I _can_ lie to myself.

**I ain't missing you at all,  
Since you've been gone, away.  
I ain't missing you,  
No matter, what my friends say.  
I ain't missing you, I aint missing you,  
I can lie to myself.  
And there's a storm that's raging,  
Through my frozen heart tonight.  
I aint missing you at all...**

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**A/N:  
**Have you ever missed someone so much, you tried to convince yourself that you don't miss them? It's hard! :P  
Sorry it's not the happiest of endings; I'm happy to do a sequel, if you guys want :).


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